NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE
ARE YOU SURE WHAT ARE YOU DOING DO YOU WANT MUCH BETTER LIFE SO YOU PLEASE READ THIS BLOG OF HUMAN DEVLOPMENT

Change is the only thing that is constant in life.

This holds true for every person because change is inevitable. Change can happen anytime, regardless if you are ready or not!

When it occurs, the best thing to do is to confront it head on and get it over and done with. People who run away from change have found themselves frustrated as they find themselves encountering the same problem repeatedly.

Change can be good or bad depending on how it is perceived by the person. An optimist will see change as a challenge or a stepping stone to something greater. A pessimist will see change as a hindrance and will only complain.

It doesn't really matter whether you choose to face change or not, because it will not go away. Any which way you deal with it, change will still have an impact on you right now or in the next few days, weeks, or years.

So how do you handle change? Accept it. Take baby steps but face it head on.

Change can sometimes be annoying because it can be interrelated to another set of changes. Hey, that's how life works. Making a choice is one way of handling change.

Here are some tips on how to handle change:

1. Let it flow

Trying to resist and get around change will only be a futile and frustrating attempt. Instead, what you can do is try to be more flexible. If you have this attitude, you will be able to ride the wave out more smoothly and sanely. Don't swim against the current.

2. Welcome reactions

It's okay to react to the events that come with change. You have the right to feel happy or sad with whatever is thrown at you. There is a time to celebrate and there is a time to grieve. After the grieving period is over, you will find it easier to handle change.

3. Purging helps

Talking about your problem provides the opportunity to take its weight off your chest. Have you noticed this? This is because you start being immune to the problem. Talking about it will also help you find solutions. Bottling up all your fears, expectations, and emotions will only cost you your sanity.

4. Never forget the familiar

Change comes one by one and in bits and pieces. Chances are there will still be something from your old life that you can hold onto and cherish while you are trying to handle change. Remember the saying "make new friends, but keep the old"? This applies here.

5. Seek support

If you feel overwhelmed by change, you can always seek ways to temporarily distract you while you think of methods to deal with it. Go out with friends, read a book, and travel. There is a multitude of things that you can do in order to make change more acceptable and less stressful.

To sum it all up, handling change boils down to one thing: acceptance. One you have accepted the fact that things happen and that these happen for a reason, the easier it will be for you!

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i am
relaxation and scripts for self-help, personal change and fulfilment

I deserve to be,

I want to be,

I can be,

I will be,

I am.

If you want to change your life you need to change how you think and change what you do. Self-help, personal change, being happy: it's up to you. No-one else.

You decide. This is the first step. Self-help starts with you. Self-help and personal change starts with your realisation that it really is in your own hands, and your decision to do something about it.

Your own self-belief is the key to successful life-change, achievement, contentment, and happiness.

Your own mind, particularly positive suggestion and visualisation, will develop your self-belief, and your determination to make successful change to your life.

This page will help you begin to change the way you think, feel and act.

Visit it any time you want to boost your self-belief, to relax, and to regain control of your life and direction.

Print this page and put it above your mirror, above your bed, above your desk, anywhere you'll see it every day.

Make time - actually schedule some time in your planner or diary to do this. It will dramatically improve your mood, attitude, and approach to life, and therefore what you get from life.

Positive suggestion and visualisation, combined with deep relaxation, is an easy way to make powerful positive personal change.

Just going through this relaxation exercise alone will help to change and improve the way you feel. If you combine the relaxation techniques with a repeated script of positive statements, such as the 'I am' script below, you will begin change the way you think, and feel, and act, and all that life offers as a result.

The more you use the relaxation exercise and say or hear the script, then the greater and more sustainable will be the effect.

The time it takes to change depends on different people. Stick with it and it will become easier, more natural, more enjoyable, and it will work.

relaxation exercise
Sit or lie down comfortably. Properly comfortably. Straighten your back, put your shoulders back to open your rib-cage.
Relax your shoulder muscles particularly. Relax your whole body, and empty your mind.
Close your eyes (obviously open them when you need to read the next stage).
Take ten deep, slow breaths. Breathe from the pit of your stomach and feel your lungs filling.
Focus on your breathing. Feel it getting deeper and slower. Feel yourself relaxing and any tension drifting away.
Relax your shoulders and neck again.
Visualise yourself being happy, succeeding, winning, being loved, laughing, feeling good.
Relax your forehead, your mouth and your eyes.
Allow a gentle smile to appear on your face as you feel a calmness enter your mind.
Then say (out load ideally) the words below (a script for personal change) to yourself:

i am
I am good person.

I have integrity.

I do what is ethically right and good.

Whatever life puts before me will be useful experience that will make me stronger, wiser, and more tolerant.

I am strong enough to understand and make allowances for other people's weaknesses, and their behaviour towards me. Other people's behaviour is about them, not me.

I focus on the joy of living my life and helping others where and when I can.

I am what I eat and drink, so I eat and drink good things.

I am what I watch and play and listen, so I watch and play and listen to good positive things.

I take exercise which I enjoy. I walk when I don't need to drive or take the bus or train.

I smile and laugh whenever I can - life is good - getting caught in the rain reminds me that it is good to be alive to feel it.

I forgive other people. Deep down everyone is a good person, just like me.

I am a compassionate and loving, caring person.

I am a good person.

I am.

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about relaxation, scripts and self-help
The use of scripts while in a deeply relaxed state is a ages-old method of gaining and maintaining control over our personal feelings and behaviours.

Relaxation combined with positive 'self-talk' enables self-help.

The use of scripts or strong statements while in a deeply relaxed state enables a 'conditioning' effect on our subconscious.

Changing our subconscious - our feelings and beliefs - increases our sense of calm and well-being, and also enables change in our conscious thoughts and behaviours. It's that simple.

Some people find it easier than others to relax deeply. It comes with practice.

If you find it difficult, allow yourself more time when going through the relaxation exercise. Create or put yourself into a quiet relaxing calm environment. Shut out noise and distractions. Lie down rather than sit.

When relaxing and emptying your mind it is natural for thoughts to arise - in which case simply acknowledge them gently and let them go - visualise them floating away like a balloon into the distance. Your ability to empty your mind and relax, free from thoughts, will improve with practice.

When you practice, you will increase the ease with which you can relax, and then you will find that you no longer need such a quiet environment. You will even find that you can achieve a deeply relaxed state in quite noisy stressful environments. Even sat at your desk at work.

Other methodologies and approaches refer to deep relaxation as 'meditation'. Commonly such methods are 'packaged' and surrounded by mystery or science. Don't be fooled. Anyone can do this. It's human nature, and instinctively accessible - free - to everyone.

Deep relaxation alone is good for the mind and body, without the use of scripted statements. Combining deep relaxation with good positive scripts is a powerful method of achieving greater happiness and for making positive personal change.

The use of repeating scripts (said or listened to) is ages-old as well. The principle is used in many timeless customs - some which are forces for good, others not so good - which are used to change or control feelings, including praying, chanting, singing, etc. Often these practices are combined with deep relaxation, meditation, trance, even hypnosis, again some for good aims and some not so good.

What I'm advocating here is the use of the same basic methodology - deep relaxation, combined with repeating strong statements - to achieve powerful personal change for the good, in the direction that you want.

If you are a coach or trainer you can help others with this type of personal change - see the personal change exercises ideas which use these relaxation, scripts and positive statements techniques.

using and changing scripts - what the 'i am' words mean
The 'I am' element alone is a powerful one because it embodies the sense of self-determination, which nobody and nothing can ever take away from you, and it emphasises the value of simply 'being'.

We each exist as a person of value and worth in our own right, irrespective of possessions and achievements. Accepting and reinforcing this concept is good for each of us. This, at its simplest level, is what 'I am' means.

"There is wisdom in accepting what you are. It is difficult to be what you are not. Being what you are doesn't require any effort. When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are, and the complete acceptance of yourself becomes the complete acceptance of everyone else." (From 'The Mastery of Love' by Don Miguel Ruiz, with thanks to Allspirit.co.uk)

You can use the relaxation exercise, combined with a script, to change many aspects of your life and feelings.

You do this by adding, removing, or replacing statements in the script.

Keep the statements positive and in the present tense.

For example, if you want to be more confident, use a statement such as 'I am a confident person' rather than 'I will be a more confident person' or 'I will try to be a more confident person'.

If you want to stop smoking, use a statement such as 'I am a non-smoker, because I value my life and body' rather than 'I will try to give up smoking'.

If you do not want to give up smoking, merely to cut down, adjust the script accordingly, for example: 'I smoke only five/ten/fifteen cigarettes a day, because this is improving my health and my life' (better than smoking twenty or thirty day).

If you keep telling your sub-conscious that you 'are', then in time you will 'be'.

Use script statements that describe yourself as you want to be. Repeating positive scripts, combined with deep relaxation, will change your behaviour from deep within.

making tapes or script recordings
You can increase the ease of using scripts if you make a tape or CD recording of yourself reading your script.

You can then use the recording any time you want.

Using a recording also means you can relax completely while listening to the words, with no need to open your eyes to read.

You can also listen to your recorded script at bed-time, before you go to sleep every night, which is also an effective way to reach and change your sub-conscious feelings.

be assured...
Most people judge themselves against entirely artificial criteria. Material success is not what life is about.

You can change your frame of reference. You do not have to accept a frame of reference that others have given you.

Many of the most materially 'successful' people are deeply unhappy, yet they strive and search (unsuccessfully) even harder for more material success.

Most ordinary good, honest 'being' people are fooled into believing that what they have is not worth anything. Don't be fooled.

The answer to happiness and fulfilment is usually found in achieving a simple acceptance of, and joy of living, a good life.

Enjoy 'being' and living a good life.

Next time you get caught in the rain, or bump the car, or get a headache - enjoy being alive to feel it and experience it.

What is NLP? How is it useful?
Here is a general FAQ on NLP. This is different from the FAQ on the Graduate Certificate in NLP, as it is generic and discusses the field. There may still be questions we have not covered that you would like to ask. Please do so through our contact link.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP FAQ
by Chris Collingwood NLP Trainer Assessor

1. How is NLP useful for me?
As NLP offers a window (through modelling) into the way we function (our neuro-linguistic programmes), it offers (as an application of NLP methodology) a technology for creating change. If you want to have more choices about your behaviour and emotions, to enhance your communication and relationships and develop new abilities in your thinking, then NLP can provide you with the technology for accomplishing that. It generates lasting life skills (one of the consequences of quality NLP training).

There are now multiple applications of NLP for psychology and counseling, education, business modelling, corporate cultural change, management development, sport performance, personal development and coaching.

2. What is NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)?
NLP explores the relationship between how we think (neuro), how we communicate both verbally and non-verbally (linguistic) and our patterns of behaviour and emotion (programmes).

It is both an epistemology, in that it studies how we know what we know and a methodology for creating practical descriptions of how we function as human beings. The purpose of NLP is to study, describe and transfer models of human excellence. (Modelling).

There are a number of descriptions of what is NLP. The founders of NLP Dr. John Grinder and Richard Bandler defined NLP as the study of the structure of subjective experience (Dilts et al; 1980). Judith DeLozier and John Grinder (1987) define NLP as "an accelerated learning strategy for the detection and utilization of patterns in the world". We think of NLP as a field that explores the patterns of organisation of effective human intuition (Collingwood & Collingwood; 2001). Through modelling an expert's intuitive application of their skill, we can as Neuro-Linguistic Programmers, have those patterns of organisation for ourselves and / or make them available to others. Modelling is the core function of NLP, learning to model (self and others) the core activity of NLP practitioner and NLP master practitioner certification trainings.

For practical purposes, learning NLP thoroughly will sharpen your observation and listening ability and enable you to identify patterns in people's behaviour and language so you can respond to the subtext of their communication. This will enable you to communicate more effectively and cut through distractions. At the same time, your own thinking will benefit from these skills as you learn to identify the direction you want to take in conversation and action. These benefits only happen with live training and practice. If you settle for a short "practitioner" course, the chances are you will be given a sheaf of scripts which limit your ability to use the material in real life.

3. In what ways can I explore NLP for my benefit?
Through reading books and articles, through coaching with an NLP trained coach or through a quality NLP seminar or training course. Note that you can only learn about NLP through reading. To learn to use NLP fluently in real time interactions there is no substitute for live experience. Reading is an excellent means of researching to help you decide when or whether you want to learn NLP. Then reading offers additional descriptions and background to enrich your live exposure.

Reading: There are over 100 books now written on NLP. The books range from support material for studying NLP through to applications of NLP to business communication, relationship counselling, education, psychotherapy and general personal development. We have specific recommendations for Practitioner of NLP level reading and Master Practitioner of NLP level reading. Also there is a section of this site devoted to NLP book reviews.

Coaching: Have a consultation or coaching session with an NLP Practitioner, Master Practitioner or NLP Trainer and experience using NLP to make a change and achieve an outcome. If you live in Australia consider visiting an Inspiritive Life Coach. See the Life Coaching Web site.

Seminars: Many NLP organisations have short seminars ranging from 1 day introductions through to 3 to 5 day application seminars. We have a regular evening introduction called Gateway to Excellence that is taught every 6 to 8 weeks. We also have some 3 day application seminars and seminars with Guest presenters. See Guest Seminars. Please note that we only invite the world's best in NLP to present seminars for Inspiritive.

Training in NLP: You could do a professional training course in NLP. In the past Certification trainings were offered at the levels of Practitioner of NLP, Master Practitioner of NLP and Trainer of NLP. We now offer a professional qualification in NLP, the Graduate Certificate in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, the first recognised higher education qualification in NLP in the world. See our brochure for the Graduate Certificate in NLP course of study. We continue to offer NLP Trainers Training.

4. What standards should I expect for a Practitioner of NLP training?
Time: A minimum of 20 days and 130 hours is the recognised time standard for Practitioner of NLP training for most NLP Associations. The nationally accredited course in Practitioner of NLP that we used to offer required 160 contact hours. Unfortuately some training organisations have created closed associations for their graduates. These are framed as broad associations that endorse a lesser time standard (usually seven days) for Practitioner of NLP certification. Other associations such as the Association for NLP (UK) or the National Association for NLP (USA) are open to practitioners from many training organisations. Please note that the short so called "accelerated" and "fast track" 7 day NLP trainings do not meet Practitioner of NLP standards

Accreditation: In the interest of comprehensive NLP training and quality standards, we have superseded NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses through government accreditation of a professional qualification the 21576VIC Graduate Certificate in NLP.

5. What do "Process" and "Content Mean?
Process not Content: The field of NLP makes the distinction between process and content. NLP is a process (not content) model. Content models are not NLP! I have seen books marketed as NLP texts that contain content rituals under the guise of NLP techniques. Skilled NLP trainers make the distinction when teaching between process and pattern and content examples. NLP does not include mysticism or personality type labelling and training programmes that include these classes of material are not teaching pure NLP! NLP does not include content beliefs!

Content is the "story"; opinion, gossip or interpretation that scolours much communication. Process is the means of handling ideas and matters in the world. As an example of the distinction between process and content, artists paint pictures. They use specific processes to apply colour to canvas to achieve the effects they want. The content of a picture may be anything from an image of a person to a tree or an abstract composition. A commissioned artwork requires the client to provide the content while the artist provides the process.

An important area of NLP is how we use our attention. We can discover this most simply by participating in live experiential exercises and learn to refine and harness our natural abilities. This is a totally process based activity. On the other hand, many people in the NLP community use a list of finite examples of attention and profile individuals according to that list, thereby limiting those people's development.

Syllabus: The syllabus for our superseded accredited NLP practitioner training met the following - See our standards for Practitioner of NLP certification.

6. What is the relationship between NLP and Timelines?
Timelines and timeline models are part of Neuro-Lingusitic Programming. Timelines as models in NLP originated in two forms. Mental timelines where modelled and described by Steve and Connirae Andreas, physical timelines by John Grinder and Robert Dilts. Most reputable NLP organisations teach more than one timeline process as part of their NLP Practitioner trainings and do not infer that timeline use is separate from NLP.

Timelines can be used to plan the future, review the past, re-awaken memory, manage projects and do change work. They can also be shortened, lengthened, re-shaped and adapted to improve an individual's capacity for time management in a variety of contexts.

7. What is the relationship between NLP and accelerated learning?
As NLP explores and builds models (modelling) of how we do what we do (through providing a methodology that studies the relationship between how we think, communicate and behave), NLP provides a technology for accelerating learning. NLP deals in patterns of effective thinking and communication, so accelerated learning occurs as a byproduct of NLP methodology (multi-sensory teaching, multiple descriptions, pattern detection). NLP provides accelerated learning in and of itself without using the 'accepted' rituals of 'Accelerated Learning' (background music, coloured pens, scripted lessons, short activities). These were designed by Lozanov specifically for learning languages and later modified by Rose for wider application. They are part of a content description of a teaching method designed to engage the learners' attention fully, in all senses and in different mind states. The engagement of these criteria is found in NLP without the content ritual of formal 'accelerated learning'.

What is NLP? - References:
Collingwood, Jules., Collingwood, Chris. (2001). The NLP Field Guide; Part 1. A reference manual of Practitioner level patterns.

DeLozier, Judith., Grinder, John. (1987). Turtles all the Way Down; Prerequisites to Personal Genius. Bonny Doon CA: Grinder, DeLozier and Associates.

Dilts, Robert., Grinder, John., Bandler, Richard., Cameron-Bandler, Leslie., DeLozier, Judith. (1980). Neuro-Linguistic Programming Volume 1; The study of the structure of subjective experience. Cupertino, CA: Meta Publications

personal development
integrated personal development - a modern alternative to traditional training for individuals and organizational development
Modern personal development is more than skills training. It offers useful alternative methods compared to coaching and mentoring too. Effective modern personal development now involves various integrated techniques, theories and behavioural concepts, that extend options around traditional ideas. This article provides examples of modern methods of developing people - enabling real personal growth and change - for individuals and organizations.

Optimising individual performance through progressive personal development significantly improves business performance too.

This example of an integrated approach to personal development is based on the work of UK-based psychotherapist Pam Weight. Her contribution of this free article is gratefully acknowledged.

Pam Weight's modern approach to personal and professional development is born out of the study of these contemporary models, which are explained in more detail later in this article:

Human development
Humanistic theories
Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and
Energy Psychology.
The personal development process enables individuals to achieve critical personal changes, specifically to:

update personal identity, attitude, values and beliefs
increase congruency and satisfaction, and
release blocks which have been restricting the realisation of personal potential.
(In this context, 'congruency' means behaving and feeling naturally and comfortably - ie, true to oneself.)

modern personal development applications
The integrated personal development approach is highly beneficial for most people.

It is however particularly effective for people who have experienced little or no benefit from conventional training, especially where progress is blocked by issues raised in the training process.

Integrated personal development is also particularly helpful where one-to-one coaching or mentoring has had limited benefit, or has prompted surprising reactions.

Equally, those who want to develop themselves in some way, but cannot identify a particular direction, will also benefit from this sort of modern integrated personal development.

personal development essentials
Modern personal development differs from conventional training methods, most importantly:

by settling the past
by reducing the effort required to live in the present
by formulating a compelling future
These fundamentals are rarely found in traditional skills training or coaching. The principles underpin the process of effective personal development.

modern personal development - an alternative to traditional training methods
Modern personal development tends to achieve results because:

it creates balance in the system (the person as a whole)
it is realistic (and is perceived by the person as being achievable and relevant)
it reduces stress, and
it increases personal control
These factors are not commonly present in traditional skills training or one-to-one coaching, and as such provide a useful alternative if traditional methods have not been effective.

personal development outcomes
Many situations benefit from the improvements arising from effective personal development, for example:

within a corporate environment - producing better organizational performance and effectiveness
to improve self-awareness
to improve personal communication with others
to improve personal relationships with others
reducing and resolving conflict and stress
Traditional training can of course produce good results in these areas, however, some people require more focus on personal issues, which can be difficult for some types of traditional training to address.

modern personal development - component theory examples
human development
Human development includes the 'nature and nurture' elements that determine who we are and how we behave. Human development is a lifelong process beginning with 'nature'. Our 'nature' elements are everything we bring into this world: from our genetic make-up, our conception, up until our birth. After we are born, the 'nurture' process begins; namely every influence we encounter that affects us: our environmental influences and behavioural conditioning by others. We are each also subject to a slow continuous forming process; a sequence of stages through which we each pass in the same order, over a number of years.

Throughout these stages other developments occur: brain development; motor development; cognitive development; social development and development of self concept and basic trust. In addition, and importantly, our emotional development.

The influence of these human development factors on people, and their response to change, is considerable.

humanistic theories
Humanistic theories focus on our inner capacity for growth and self-fulfillment; with the emphasis on human potential. The early theorists referred to humans as being 'set up' or 'pre-programmed' for growth and fulfillment, unless thwarted by an environment that restricts growth.

From a humanistic perspective, a positive self-concept is the key to personal happiness and success in life. Moreover, acceptance and empathy help us to nurture positive feelings about ourselves, and that consequently we develop the capacity to extend and apply positive feelings to others. Overall, a humanistic perspective purports that people are basically good, and capable of self improvement.

(See also McGregor's XY Theory, which includes aspects of humanistic thinking, and usefully positions them in the context of corporate organizations, management, motivational development, etc.)

neuro-linguistic programming
Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a model of human experience and communication. It has also been referred to as a study of subjective experience and human excellence. Importance is placed on rapport: mutual trust and responsiveness. Rapport can be applied to your relationship with yourself and your relationship with others.

NLP states that the greater the mental, physical and emotional rapport with yourself, the greater your health, well-being and inner peace. As a result, the greater your ability to relate to and influence others. Other pivotal aspects are:

knowing what you want - setting your goal or outcome
using your senses - being aware of what is happening to you helps you regain the curiosity and acuity you had as a child - this increases behavioural flexibility, which improves your chances of success (see the first law of cybernetics).
See also the detailed free introductory guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

energy psychology
Energy Psychology is the collective term for a range of approaches focusing on the interconnectedness of mind and body. A principle of Energy Psychology is that psychological and physical problems can be treated through the body's meridian system and other bodily systems. Some of the approaches have their roots in traditional Chinese medicine energy healing, such as acupuncture.

From an Energy Psychology perspective; if the energy or meridian system balance is upset and left unchecked, there will be a physical manifestation. If there is a disturbance in the system, there will be impairment in thinking, and physical health. Clear the disturbance, and the body can do what it is meant to do - repair and/or heal itself, creating harmony and balance.

By carefully integrating and applying the behavioural models explained above, Pam Weight has developed a truly progressive and effective system of personal development. The approach is in tune with the needs of people living and working in the modern age, and provides a useful alternative to traditional training, coaching and mentoring practices.

Effective personal development must value the person's individual journey; acknowledge the person's learning from experiences; offer the opportunity for the person to update their system; and free the individual to consider their current capabilities and how and where to apply them. Truly effective personal development must be tailored for the individual, and be flexible and realistic, producing real and sustainable results, the basis of which must always be improved balance, less stress and more control.

The contribution of this article is gratefully acknowledged. If you'd like to find out more about this modern and effective approach to personal and professional development contact Pam Weight at: pamweight at ntlworld dot com.

Alternatively call Pam on: +44 (0)24 7674 3139, or contact us, and we'll be pleased to put you in touch.

life coaching and personal coaching

life coaching tips for business coaching, personal coaching - techniques for coaching success, performance, career and life-change
Coaching is a modern and rapidly growing method for helping others to improve, develop, learn new skills, find personal success, achieve aims and manage life change and personal challenges. Life coaching, or personal coaching - different terms are used - is effective for all situations, whether in personal life, career, sales or corporate and business life. Life coaching, personal coaching and similar coaching of this type is different to training. Coaching draws out rather than puts in. It develops rather than imposes. It reflects rather than directs. Coaching is is reactive, flexible and enabling, not prescriptive or instructional. Coaching is non-judgemental, not judgemental. Coaching helps people to develop and grow in a variety of areas, and this is leading to the development of separate coaching specialisms that are becoming new coaching disciplines in their own right, covering: personal coaching and life coaching, coaching for life-change, parenting; self-fulfillment and self-discovery; career coaching for advancement and job choices; leadership and management coaching; coaching for sales and business success; executive coaching for corporate performance and director development.

According to The Coaching Academy, whose contribution of this free coaching guide article is gratefully acknowledged, coaching is the world's second-fastest growing business skill. Coaching is now a profession, and one that is seeing rapid growth, primarily because for many people it is a uniquely satisfying career. All coaches have something in common - they are people that want to help others be the very best that they can be.

The Coaching Academy, Europe's largest coach training organisation has compiled this report on coaching to provide helpful information about coaching as a career, and to describe the principles and requirements of coaching as a personal development method.

Much of the factual content of this article has been gathered from the people who know best about this - coaches themselves. Look at coaching from their perspective to see what coaching is, and what coaching means.

personal coaching, life coaching - new and different to anything else
Coaching is about getting the very best out of someone and enabling them to make decisions that will improve their life. Coaches are hired for very many different and diverse reasons, for example: to climb the career ladder faster; to feel more fulfilled at work; to improve relationships with family and partners; to learn parenting skills that benefit both the child and parent; to gain a spiritual meaning to life, or a desire to 'get sorted'.

The profession is growing and coaching is becoming widely acknowledged also because people realise just how effective coaching is. Coaching is a relatively new and different profession - different to psychology, counselling or therapy. The big difference between coaching and these professions is that coaching doesn't claim to have the answers. A coach's job is not to go over old ground, be past-orientated or to force-feed information, but to work with clients to help them find the answers themselves.

Also, when a person experiences being coached, their motivation comes from working with a coach who is him/herself an upbeat, positive role model. In this way coaching is a unique way of developing people. Coaches agree that helping clients to reach their full potential through this approach produces great satisfaction.

reasons why people become a coaches
Whatever the reasons for people deciding to work with coaches; whatever the type of coaching given, and whatever results clients seek from coaching, a common feature in all coaching relationship is that coaching is a two-way process.

The two-way partnership is a main attraction for people to coaching. Both coach and client benefit. Personal development for the coach is a huge aspect of learning coaching and all coaches find that they themselves grow yourself, before starting to help others to do the same.

An excellent coach finds out new things about themselves and is on a continuous learning journey. Indeed, becoming a coach means a lifelong quest for personal excellence. For many this quest is the motivation to become a coach in the first place.

Helping clients discover where they want to go and helping them to get there is now a proven methodology, which is fuelling the increasing popularity of professional coaching.

Significantly, good coaches are never motivated entirely by money. The very nature of coaching means that it's a profession that is centered around 'making a difference' and helping people. Focusing mainly on making money generally leads to a lack of concern for the client, with the result that the client exits the relationship, not surprisingly. Happily, coaches who enter the profession chiefly for financial gain leave coaching quickly - which helps to maintain the integrity of the coaching professional reputation.

Common factors and reasons for coaches entering the profession:

they like people and want to bring out the best in them
they want to do something more fulfilling in their lives
they want personal and financial freedom
their family, friends and colleagues previously turned to them for advice and help - they have natural 'people' skills.
Coaching entails helping yourself grow and become more self aware, at the same time, helping others to overcome problems in their lives.

how life coaching and personal coaching typically operates
Interestingly, most life coaching and personal coaching is conducted on the telephone. Many coaches never actually meet their clients. For several reasons coaching is just as effective over the telephone as it is face-to-face. In fact, many clients prefer to speak over the telephone. This makes the process very convenient for both coach and client, and it offers greater flexibility for people with a busy lifestyle. Coaching using the telephone offers other obvious advantages:

coaching can be conducted wherever coach and client happen to be - anywhere in the world
there's no travelling time or cost involved
since little preparation needs to be done, telephone coaching sessions can be arranged with minimum prior notice
coaches do not need offices, meeting rooms, staff or other expensive overheads
A coaching session is typically thirty minutes and rarely longer than an hour.

life coaching and personal coaching profession attractions
Being self-employed has its advantages in any area of business. Having the luxury to choose the hours you work, where you work and how much to charge for your service is a huge motivation for anyone considering joining the profession.

Coaches can choose how many clients they want - one client, or twenty.

And there are no overheads involved - working from home is a big incentive for people who want to enter the coaching profession.

The flexibility of the coaching role, along with the rewarding aspects of the job, is likely to ensure that coaching and the number of practising coaches grows considerably in coming years.

Coaching, as well as being hugely satisfying, a means of personal development and very flexible, is also financially rewarding. Clients value and benefit from the support and are therefore happy to pay for it.

Coaches are attracted into the profession because it gives them:

accelerated personal growth and understanding of self
a lifelong journey of personal excellence and knowledge
the ability to enhance any job-role in any organization and industry - coaching brings out the best in people and motivates them to be the very best in whatever they do - in all manner of jobs and careers
more options in life - important and rare choices of when to work and with whom
a right and good purpose and meaning in life, measured in real value terms of effort and reward, not lost in a corporate fog
Little can compare to really making a difference in another person's life.

The ability to help people make lasting, positive changes in their lives is very special. Good coaches have this very special ability, and it is therefore no wonder that people are attracted to the coaching role.

Typical motivations for becoming a coach are explained in this example:

"It's a wonderful experience when a client makes a breakthrough, has a 'light bulb moment' and takes action on something they have been putting off for a long time. It's a fantastic feeling for both me and them." (Pam Lidford, a UK-based qualified coach and trainer)

challenges coaches face and how coaching overcomes them
On a day-to-day basis, coaches face many challenges. Coaching is an ongoing process, a method of continuous development and a significant learning experience for coaches and clients, so it's important to learn from 'mistakes'

The key to this is realising that these aren't 'mistakes' or failings in the first place.

What many people regard as mistakes are lessons, experiences, and opportunities to learn and develop.

Cherie Carter-Scott in her book 'If Life Is Game, These Are The Rules' has some helpful things to say about mistakes and learning. So does Don Miguel Ruiz in his book 'The Four Agreements'. See also the inspirational quotes, many of which help to approach mistakes and learning experiences positively. Perhaps one of the most powerful examples is "What does not kill us makes us stronger." (attributed to Friedrich Nietzsche, probably based on his words: "Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger." from The Twilight of the Idols, 1899).

A coach must demonstrate resourcefulness and help people to see that if they think they have failed in the past, this bears no bearing to what they can do in the future.

John Cassidy-Rice is a qualified coach who has been working in personal development for over 12 years. He explains typical challenges that coaches can face:

"Failure is only measured by time. If you look at the bigger picture, it's the 'failures' in our life that can actually turn out to be our greatest successes. What we learn from failure is invaluable. To give an example, when a football team loses an important match, they may regard themselves as failures; it's a natural thought process to go through. However, if they take it one match at a time, and look at where they went wrong in the game, and indeed, how they can improve for the next one, it means that these mistakes won't be made again - and they'll be successful in the future games they play. It can be a challenge to remove the 'failure' thought from clients. And showing them that it doesn't mean they can't achieve success in the future."

Listening skills, and resisting the urge to give advice are key attributes and methods of successful coaching, and central to truly helping people find their own direction and solutions.

Listening is the most important ability and behaviour of a coach. This takes patience, tolerance and practice, especially in order to develop real empathic listening techniques. See the section on empathy, which explains more about the different types of listening.

Communicating fully and expertly is