Self-Improvement Begins With Self-Acceptance
When you are overwhelmed with doubts, fears, and insecurities, you sometimes exclaim, 揑 wish I were somebody else!?More often than not, you think and believe that most people are better than you are. In reality, the same people are more scared than you are!
You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping a colorful mixed drink. You say to yourself, 揝he looks so perfectly calm and confident.?
If only you could read her mind, you might just be amazed with what she is thinking, 揂re people talking about why I am seated here alone? Why don抰 guys find me attractive? ?I don抰 like my ankles, they look too skinny ?I wish I were as intelligent as my best friend.?/p>
You see a young business entrepreneur and say, 揥hoa ?what else could he ask for??The business entrepreneur stares at himself in the mirror and murmurs to himself, 揑 hate my big eyes?I wonder why my friends won抰 talk to me ?I hope mom and dad would still work things out.?
Isn抰 it funny? You look at other people, envy them for looking outrageously perfect, and wish you could trade places with them. On the other hand, they look at you and think of the same things!
You are insecure of other people who, in turn, are insecure of you. You suffer from low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Consequently, you lose hope in improving yourself because you are enveloped in quiet desperation.
I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. In most conversations, she is the only one who seems to be interested in the things she is saying. Because of this, all our other friends tend to avoid her whenever she is around. The sad part is that my friend does not notice this!
Learn to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. This is part of the self-improvement process. Find an honest and trusted friend whom you can comfortably ask delicate questions, such as: 揇o you think I am ill-mannered??揇o I always sound so argumentative??揇o I talk too loud??揇o I ever bore you when were together??and others.
Listen for comments and criticisms and do not justify by saying, 揇on抰 exaggerate! That抯 just the way I am!?nbsp; Open your mind and heart and learn to receive these comments. In return, you may want to help your friend by offering constructive criticisms that will also help him/her improve.
One of Whitney Houston抯 songs says, 揕earning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.?True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself first for you cannot give what you do not have.
In order to convince people to improve themselves, show them first some results, such as what you have achieved because of self-improvement. Self-improvement makes you a better person and when people see this, it inspires them to follow the same path.
People have insecurities. Nobody is perfect. People always wish they had better things, features, body parts, etc. Life need not be perfect for people to be happy about themselves.
However, self-improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and the best. It starts with accepting and loving your self. When you begin to improve yourself, then you begin to feel content and happy.
Stop thinking of yourself as a second-rate being. Quit thinking 揑f only 厰 thoughts. Accept your true self. This is the first step to self-improvement. Stop comparing yourself to others! Aspire to become your best self.
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By: Jeff Cohen
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